posted by jessica at 04:21 PM | Comments (6)

breeding is a privilege, not a right.

ah, low culture does it again.

posted by jessica at 03:29 PM | Comments (0)

shirts vs. blouses

i think i might be obsessed with chappelle's show the charlie murphy true hollywood stories. first, there was a treatment of rick james that captured the hearts of many and may indeed go down in cult comic history. for the second installment, chappelle and charlie gave us a nice follow-up, a tale of Prince's basketball skills. no doubt the segment could have been much improved with some airtime from paul mooney as the symbol himself, but the thought of the new power generation schooling the murphy brothers with a triple-double is best.

roger friedman loves renee zellweger 4-eva. granted fox 411 is just a gossip column, but get this man a cold shower and some pictures of grandma:
For all the reasons that "Cold Mountain" didn't get a Best Picture nomination, Renà©e Zellweger should win Best Supporting Actress. She turned in tremendous performances in "Jerry Maguire," "Bridget Jones' Diary," "Nurse Betty" and, most unforgettably, "Chicago." For those movies alone she deserved recognition. But in "Cold Mountain," she nails it, once and for all. I was listening to a radio ad for "Cold Mountain" the other day, one that featured some of Renà©e's lines. Just hearing her voice as Ruby made me smile. Zellweger is really a breath of fresh air that sweeps into the stagnant, sorrowful atmosphere created by Anthony Minghella, and gives life to a movie haunted by ghosts. I can't think of anyone else in any other film this year for whom you immediately want to cheer upon seeing her or him enter the picture.
wow, roger, control yourself--no one needs to see your o-face spurned just by the sound of zelly. you must be a veritable mess when you can actually see her.

posted by jessica at 11:45 AM | Comments (4)

February 18, 2004

samantha will live, natch.

i understand why a lot of women are irritated by Sex and the City. hell, if i didn't love the show so inexplicably, i'd probably be annoyed as well. but i'm a sucker for a good nyc fantasy show--i've watched the show pretty religously since its incarnation (save for the summer i was staying in the bronx, ironically, and had no cable). there has been much ado about the final episode, but the end might not be so near: michael patrick king, SATC Executive Producer, is furiously working on a feature-length script for the series and talks with HBO are flying high. given the record of tv shows crossing into movies, this is risky and potentially shit-filled.

meanwhile, if you're a total idiot and don't know how to throw a SATC viewing party for the final ep, there are detailed instructions available.

posted by jessica at 02:35 PM | Comments (1)

a quick post as we're positively drowning over here

ain't no sex tape like a nightvision sex tape 'cause a nightvision sex tape don't stop! rick solomon admits to posting the full length version of his exploits with everyone's favorite bottle blond, now available for $50 on the net. homeboy says he might as well make a buck or two. interestingly enough, solomon's $10 mil suit against the hiltons for libel still stands--they did, after all, unfairly accuse solomon of leaking four minutes of footage. but soloman would never release just four minutes when he could release all forty! so yeah, libel, totally.

poor (or maybe not poor) alexandra polier's friendster profile has been reprinted by lloyd grove. i have to feel sorry for her, simply because friendster profiles are so silly to begin with. she does, however, refer to herself as a piece of ass--i say that's admissable evidence!

speaking of legalese, the blueprint's attorney has sent me a link regarding cbs' new reality show entitled, "the will." apparently they're just looking for a rich schmuck who'll allow his or her family to compete to be the heir. while it just sounds like a rip-off of "the family" (italian-american stereotypes at their finest!), the probate cohorts claim this is legally dangerous. i think it's just another failure in the wings.

the guardian asserts that the brit awards are utterly meaningless--much like most entertainment awards.

everyone knows at this point that angel has been cancelled. never was my cup o' tea, but 7 years is a good run, so i'll tip my hat to the fans. what most people don't know, however, is that Buffy alum Marti Noxon has another pilot en route for Fox called "Point Pleasant." the script is pretty good, actually, for a supernatural teen drama. think a gentler rosemary's baby on the jersey shore. so keep an eye out, it just might make it to series.

posted by jessica at 12:51 PM | Comments (0)

site quality is rapidly declining

of this i am well aware. it's pilot season, and unless you're here with me, you can't imagine. remember the good old days of four or five posts? sigh. i'll post later, i promise.

posted by jessica at 10:49 AM | Comments (3)

February 17, 2004

waste some time

how uncanny! after just posting my six degrees of kevin bacon ref, sarika drops me the best procrastination link i've found in awhile: connect any two random celebs via the SDoKB method. it works on the most obscure stuff. for example: rip torn and sarah jessica parker have only 2 degrees! who knew!?

posted by jessica at 12:20 PM | Comments (2)

tuesday is the new monday

i love monday holidays; their buzz eats friday holidays for breakfast. granted, any paid holiday is fine by me, but starting your week on tuesday is so damn nice that it makes ending your week on thursday seem like nothing hot--especially when most people start their carousing on thursdays anyhow. for the VD, o'doyle took me to san diego for the night and we let all of the monkeys out of the zoo. i have pics, actually, not of freed monkeys but of the awesomeness of the san diego zoo (pandas!), but i haven't had a chance to put them up yet, obvs. back in hell-ay yesterday, i saw mystic river and, dear god, it blew me away. not only were the performances phenomenal, but i now i have even more options for six degrees of kevin bacon.
[unsolicited fyi: the phones are so crazy here that it took me 40 minutes to type all that. ack!]

corporate giants at play:cingular buys out AT&T wireless. i hate my at&t service but i'm too lazy to do anything about it, natch...does anyone out there know what this means for my overpriced calling plans? does my service become cingular? mcfly?

eggers and franzen are "outed" for posting positive amazon reviews of their friends' work that include some jabs at the underground literary alliance. as this was all done anonymously, i honestly don't understand what the huge deal is. people post positive reviews of their friends' stuff on amazon all. the. time. oooh, so it was the eccentric guys, and--gasp--they poked the bellies of the ULA. yadda yadda. book gossip just isn't as salacious as i want it to be, huh.

50 first dates sets a record for the 2nd-largest february opening, at 41 mil. the post tells us why we love sandler and barrymore but fails to mention the anomaly of the film's success, which i observed while viewing the flick on friday: the movie blows. honestly, i was not expecting raucous, earth-shattering filmmaking, but the movie was so not funny and overly sappy that at one point we almost left. rob schneider was the only saving grace for this flick and he was in maybe 10 minutes of it. crying craptastic shame.

posted by jessica at 10:18 AM | Comments (0)

February 13, 2004

deepest regrets

i'm still enslaved to my desk with 12 hour days and, as such, am far too exhausted and much too busy to adequately post. maybe later, of course, but the outlook is cloudy. in the meantime, please send flasks of the strong stuff.

posted by jessica at 11:52 AM | Comments (4)

February 12, 2004

take that, gothamist!

the low culture interview debuts. first up: the stapler.

posted by jessica at 05:39 PM | Comments (1)

is nothing sacred?

i'm not one to preach on about family values, but the can't a couple work things out, even if they're plastic? god help us all, barbie and ken have broken up. yes, america's favorite genitalia-less couple is calling it quits. did the stress of fame get to them? was ken jealous of barbie's bazillion careers? or was it another woman?
"'Like other celebrity couples, their Hollywood romance has come to an end,' said Arons, who quickly added that the duo 'will remain friends.'
Arons denied that there was any truth to rumors that the breakup was linked to the Cali (as in California) Girl Barbie, arriving in stores now. To better reflect her single status, Cali Barbie will wear board shorts and a bikini top, metal hoop earrings, and have a deeper tan.
This new style already has attracted a new admirer, Blaine the Australian boogie boarder."

posted by jessica at 02:50 PM | Comments (5)

spawn of the darkness

i'm sorry, but i just don't grasp the whole buzz around the darkness. yes, they dress in amusing garb and are reminiscent of the 80s. and yes, they do provide some solid rock-out-wit-yo-bad-self tunes. but the darkness is just not my cup o' tea, i s'pose. they're the ultimate in novelty gone mainstream and the guardian's placing bets on the next big novelties to come. danger mouse is included in the batch, for all ya'll in the know.

fox news really has the most amazing scoop today: online friends often meet in the real world, thanks to sites like friendster and meetup. well, shoot, you don't say.

chicha has a fab rundown of evil blog comments: yes, there's more than one kind of haterade out there, and she's got them pinpointed. so timely, so very timely.

seth mnookin at slate calls norah jones' follow up "tepid and bland." ouch. is this true? anyone?

also on the ouch factor: too busy to scourge the internet for tasty treats or compose my thoughts on last night's OC (is it wrong that I wanted oliver to kill himself?). maybe later, of course. or perhaps i'll be able to do teensy morsels of posts throughout the day. we'll see where the madness takes me.

posted by jessica at 10:01 AM | Comments (10)

February 11, 2004

domination, plain and simple.

media conglomeration schmonglomeration. we ain't seen nothing yet: comcast has slammed a pocket change bid of $66 billion on the table in a move to buy out disney. disney isn't exactly saying no, either. should comcast join up with the evil empire, they'd have the highest revenues around and reign as the biggest partnership. if this does go down, i demand the mighty ducks to be shown on every comcast local cable channel. young pacey, mmm.

after 14 successful years on air, matt groening is finally in development to take the simpsons to the big screen. at first i was all atwitter over this news, but at the same time there might be something a bit odd about seeing the simpsons in the theatre. nevertheless, it'll be best. i suggest that they make it R-rated and go for the gold!

oh no, nononono! bad move: steven tyler set to play himself in "be cool," which, unless this movie is a wayne's world recap, will make the production remarkably uncool.

aww, steven cocojaru had a drink spilled on his face! waaah, he smeared his makeup! sniff, he had to have someone give him a touchup in the middle of the party! cheers to whomever instigated this tragic comedy.

posted by jessica at 11:47 AM | Comments (2)

they pick 'em big and black

nah, you guys are pervs--i'm talking westminster, yo. a 155 lb. newfoundland named Ch. Darbydale's All Rise Pouchcove (?!), who also goes by "josh," took best in show. the true highlight, however, was not the happy winner (man, you could see victory in that dog's eyes), it was the play-by-play commentary from the precious announcers: "you know what they say about terriers, bob. it's their world and we're just living in it." so funny because it's true.

bad news for the kids over at 1115.org: after kerry won virginia and tennessee, general wesley clark has officially dropped out of the race. oddly enough, kucinich is still in this one to win, baby! and poor dean, yet to take a primary and only 182 delegates to his name--it's amazing how one primal mating call can mean the end of things.

has there ever been a guaranteed hit sequel more so that ocean's 12? i mean, yeah, it'll have some schlock factor, but the entire original cast is coming back and now catherine zeta-jones has signed on.

another thing guaranteed to make cash: the original three star wars movies to be released on DVD in september. the box set is guaranteed to be the hotness; a fourth disc will be chock full of geeky bonus features, documentaries and footage.

if the star wars dvd just doesn't do it for you, maybe the special michael jackson dvd will. you probably have to be under 15 to buy it, though.

thank god: conjoined turtle twins will live!

posted by jessica at 04:42 AM | Comments (4)

February 10, 2004

back to brief blurbs

usa today hearts writing about television. first, there's a nice little list of the four factors that have shaped our TV view habits. while the list is informative, it's hardly insightful and it doesn't really mention the one word that's changed the game: reality. meanwhizz, there's another rundown featuring the major turning points in the history of television shows, starting with lucy giving birth to ricky and ending with four new york ladies. it's a great overview of the big moments that pushed the boundaries, if you're into that sort of thing.

finally, a grammy rundown with some solid info:
"And just to prove that some things never change in the Grammys, the award for best polka album went to Jimmy Sturr. The Irish-American polka star has become a Grammy institution, winning the award for the 14th time."

timberlake, fresh off the buzz of nipplegate, has signed to star in Edison, a thriller staring morgan freeman and kevin spacey. better hope the boy can hold his own with the big kids.

speaking of superbowl kids, there's some talk that the american idol kids just might do the halftime show next year. no word on william hung's participation.

posted by jessica at 02:34 PM | Comments (0)

an open letter to the person who went apeshit on me or, if you prefer, a letter from the editor.*

dear anonymous backblogger and lover of sean penn and/or perhaps sean penn himself,

before i begin, it's quite clear to me that you a stark raving penn fan and, as such, i'd like to clarify my previous post because, well, it's pretty clear to me that by your rabid response you didn't quite "get" the point. actually, i'd bet there's a lot of things you don't "get," but we can address those later. let me explain: i'm not fighting the wave of celebrity pundits. i think that's funny. my issue was with the fact that sean penn dissed his colleagues. he has an oscar nomination. the academy, which is made up of his colleagues, votes for the oscars. insult the colleagues and the colleagues get mad. the colleagues will remember that when they vote. thus it is not in good taste in light of the oscars--hell, in light of his career, which is also shaped by his colleagues--to blatantly insult said colleagues. as for my final potshot on the hairdo: it's just bad hair. c'mon, you must realize that, don't you?

what i really want to address, however, is the other things you don't seem to "get," that being the blog and/or nature of blogging in and of itself. last time i checked, the blueprint is my site. of course, i'm completely pleased and flattered that people do read my often ridiculous posts, but ultimately, the things i choose to bitch about are things i choose based on my tastes. i work in hollywood and, as such, i choose to make fun of the things i deal with. that is, again, because it's my site. and, if i choose to post insulting commentary on celebrities, that's my prerogative. it's your prerogative not to like it, of course, but you have to respect the medium. it's a blog, not a newspaper, not a magazine, and certainly not a job--it's really a hobby, a silly platform, my little corner of ranting, and nothing more. your misunderstanding of the "genre," for lack of a better word, is so great that i wonder how you found my blog in the first place.

most importantly, if your opinion is that my brain matter is dwindling, fine--plenty of people who spend time with me on the weekends might be inclined to agree. as always, i welcome comments, i have an email link, you can even IM me if you like. i'm hardly anonymous, i just don't flaunt my identity about. i don't have to know who you are (and frankly, i don't care), but posting an angry comment as such and doing so anonymously (by anonymously i mean the failure to include a legitimate email link or url) is more cowardly than sean penn's colleagues ever were.

in brief, you are indeed a DB, as they say.

give my best to the kids,
jessica

*sorry about this, folks. had to vent. regular programming will resume shortly.

posted by jessica at 08:34 AM | Comments (7)

February 09, 2004

if you'd just shut up, they'd give you an oscar.

unless you've been in a spiderhole for the past 5 years, you are well aware that any uneducated fool with a top agent can open their mouths and feel jusitified in the babbling of their "opinions." hey, being a celebrity must mean you can say what you want whenever you want--right, chris martin? but sean penn, seriously, you've got to stop talking. in general. when nominated for an oscar that you pretty much deserve, you might not want to throw punches at the people who decide the fate of each statuette:
When asked if he was surprised by the way he was criticized for his trip to Baghdad, Penn blamed his colleagues in Hollywood, says the source, replying, ퟙIíŸÙm not surprised with the fact that there are many comfortable cowards in my profession.ퟘ
yes, sean penn knows a thing or two about bravery: it is clearly defined in his courage to sport a medieval pompadour.

posted by jessica at 10:47 AM | Comments (9)

no nipples, no girl-on-girl action, no overtly offensive language: grammys are boring.

at least the academy finally got it right: the album of the year is awarded on the basis of creativity, and outkast's speakerboxx/the love below is triumphant. also of major significance: it's the first hip-hop album to win for album of the year. i'm not going to bother with a complete rundown of the rest because, well, everyone else will do that for me, but i must express my pleasure that jack and meg garnered a few nods and the neptunes obviously won producers of the year (sasha frere-jones has a great primer on the latter).

barbershop 2 tops the weekend BO, with miracle coming in at numero dos. i have no interest in seeing either flick. MGM's distribution schmuck notes that at least 1/3 of the barbershop crowds this weekend were white, quickly defines barbershop as "crossover."

neil strauss tosses the times a review of courtney love's new album, which basically affirms what most people expected out of her: not much. but really, who cares about the review when the article's best part is in the 2nd paragraph:
I did not know Ms. Love personally: I'd never interviewed her, talked to her or even been introduced to her. But a few weeks before, I had been the victim of one of her famous phone blitzkriegs. Somehow, she had gotten my phone number and left five long, Joycean messages. "I'm charmed, I'm cursed, I'm [expletive] up," she said before going on to discuss her "bio-dad" and the way her daughter compared her to Shrek. Her reason for calling was that she wanted to "talk to a rock specialist."
i'll take my courtney with a side of crazy anyday, thankyouverymuch. are you not entertained?!

is it beauty pageant season or something? more T&A contest news: the miss america telecast is being cut from 3 hours to 2 (wait, are they kidding? who the hell watched it for three hours to begin with?), and that may mean ditching the talent competition. which is a damn shame, of course, because we all know miss america is about raw, unadulterated talent.

posted by jessica at 04:00 AM | Comments (5)

February 06, 2004

newsflash--white people, democrats corny

dear russell simmons,

all corniness aside, a word of advice: if you want to be taken seriously, you really mustn't allow damon dash to accompany you to these events.

sincerely,
a white democrat

posted by jessica at 11:48 AM | Comments (3)

this is going to be one of those posts where i detail my every move from the night before.

holy mother of god, i feel like death and only cheese bagels can save me. admittedly, i'm a recluse loser on weeknights since i'm usually exhausted by the end of work--so my body is totally not responding well to last night's strokalicious extravaganza. the show was an amex Blue Jam Session, which raises money for music programs in public schools, and somehow this translated into going through 4 different security checkpoints, throbbing techno music for hired go-go dancers on sunset boulevard, free drink tickets, and a full on paparazzi carpet walk into the joint. it was borderline insane--all the glitz was kind of weird and unneccessary.

the show was awesome, of course, the venue was tiny and the crowd was over-21 and far less kelly osbournesque than usual. seth green was there and he was hanging out with the camera man all night. i didn't see anyone else because i left afterwards, no stalking this time. also, it seems that the strokes have changed clothes since i last saw them in october, so that's good. anywhoo, i can't remember all of the songs, but they did the best of is this it: modern age, soma, someday, last night, and they played most of room on fire. they did a cover of the clash, and of course, reptilia was a total ass-kicker. i also hit some guy in the head (intentionally) because he tried to start moshing and he was pissing everyone off. i'm a mean girl, i guess. at the end, julian tried to jump into the crowd and i got crushed. it rocked.

you can watch part of the show, with added commercials (although my video isn't working, so i'm just listening), here.

posted by jessica at 10:37 AM | Comments (0)

February 05, 2004

irony

the first real stretch of time i've had to blog and be wasteful on the man's dime is right now, which happens to be quite late in the day. so i won't blog, really, but i will gush with excitement over seeing the strokes tonight at the House of Blues. fantastic venue, even if bruce willis is there. i also realized that i never mentioned how much fun ted leo was at the echo last weekend. not only is he painfully talented, but he was effing with the audience and rocking v.v. hard. someday, i might even have pics for ya'll (you know who you are, camera-toting cohorts of mine).

posted by jessica at 05:46 PM | Comments (3)

no breast too old

more from the nipple shield heard 'round the world: ER and NBC, in the wake of post-superbowl nervousness, are going to cut a scene in which, for two seconds, an EIGHTY YEAR-OLD WOMAN'S BREAST appears in the background. what the hell is an 80-year old woman doing topless on primetime anyhow? ER exec-producer john wells said of the change in footage, with no irony whatsoever, "We could've easily cut the small piece of the breast and it does no damage to the show whatsoever."

work is painfully busy right now, apologies for the brief posts. later, yo.

posted by jessica at 01:09 PM | Comments (3)

oh, the horror...the horror...

contrary to popular belief, the Miss USA pageant does not feature a competitive category for best oral. as such, paris hilton really hasn't much of a chance as a contestant. she might, however, still be around for this ultimate judgement of cellulite and piano-playing. i suppose we should expect this sort of inane business from a man with an offensive comb-over, but i still can't manage to stomach the chatter that donald trump is attempting to secure paris hilton as the host for the Miss USA pageant. my god, can you imagine? as if the pageant isn't a spectacle enough as is, she's going to be expected to read lines!? the bitch will undoubtedly crown herself by the end of the night and then pawn the tiara for more some quick coke cash. and you can forget about the broken hearted pageant pusses who've worked their whole shallow lives for the chance to parade around stage in a hideous JCPenny bikini--this is hilton's show now, and she'll douse you in redbull and light you on fire if you dare take it away from her.

posted by jessica at 10:51 AM | Comments (7)

February 04, 2004

dodgeball, anyone?

mel gibson, make up your mind! either you're with christopher hitchens or you're not. ny times reports that a controversial scene has been deleted from "the passion," in which the blood of deicide is cursed upon the jews...or whatever. now anti-semiticism isn't hot? that's some solid backtracking, mel, but what about your interview with reader's digest?
"Ms. Noonan insisted: 'You're going to have to go on record. The Holocaust happened, right?'
Mr. Gibson responded: 'I have friends and parents of friends who have numbers on their arms. The guy who taught me Spanish was a Holocaust survivor. He worked in a concentration camp in France. Yes of course. Atrocities happened. War is horrible. The Second World War killed tens of millions of people. Some of them were Jews in concentration camps. Many people lost their lives. In the Ukraine several million starved to death between 1932 and 1933. During the last century 20 million people died in the Soviet Union.'"
the man inexplicably continues to talk out of his world-renowned derriere. such a shame. remember when he was pretty and quiet?

when in doubt, blame a brando! robert blake's defense has a hot new theory: christian brando, son of fattypants, killed bonnie lee bakley. the judicial system rocks--where else can you just pull things out of your ass and use them as arguments? oh, wait, i forgot: OpEd columns.

the darkness most certainly do not heart oasis. lead singer justin hawkins recently dissed oasis on lettermen as "arrogant" and now, in some random mag, hawkins claims, "Noel Gallagher is an overrated guitarist losing grip on his credibility who just has to fire shots on his way down. It's kind of a shame, really." i'd like to take this opportunity to say how much i adore brit feuds--the degree of insult is kindler, gentler. so cute.

posted by jessica at 10:23 AM | Comments (4)

February 03, 2004

there's always fear factor

the incredibly shrinking shriver has finally "quit" NBC news. while the official line has something to do with prioritizing her duties as first lady of california (who knew that recall business was for real?!), i'm more certain NBC didn't want to a politically-affiliated, publicly-starving, jackie o-emulating journalist back on the air. although i'm sure putting her on camera while her stomach desperately continues to eat itself would be great for ratings.

david gest didn't mind having his ass kicked by liza--hell, he probably liked it. gest confides to ever-empathetic stone philips that the abuse didn't cause their breakup; it was the national enquirer that threw america's freakiest lovebirds over the edge. an article portraying liza as an alcoholic motivated her to end the marriage, according to gest, who "says Minnelli's beatings caused him pain 'so enormous that I get now 80 shots around the head to deaden the nerves,' according to the NBC release." [there are so many jokes here that i can't possibly choose just one, so insert your own.]

posted by jessica at 03:27 PM | Comments (5)

tivo hearts nipples

if you've read the blueprint with any degree of frequency (and i think, like, 7 of you have), you know i'm positively dying for a tivo. maybe if i had one, i could have been part of this momentus statistic: tivo announces that justin and janet's stripanip incident was the most replayed moment to date for the company. hot! also hot: hearing two men debate, while waiting in line for coffee, whether the janet's breast decoration was a piercing or a pasty. being the informative and helpful gal that i am, i explained to the gentleman exactly how the piercing (which, according to usa today, is called a "nipple shield") works. helping the world, one man at a time, while unintentionally gesturing at my breasts. great.

free snoop dogg! actually, he wasn't ever not free, but a court has dismised a case against him in which he was accused of using a phone message on his album without permission. in the disputed message, the caller expresses support for snoop in dealing with suge knight. while the case revolved around a financial compensation for this caller, who has remained anonymous, the blueprint is betting that this has to do with the justified fear that suge knight might eat the caller's babies (i keed, suge, i keed, please don't come after me).

posted by jessica at 11:24 AM | Comments (0)

meta-backlash.

gothamist posts a pseudo-rant (pseudo because, well, gothamist never seems to rant about anything) regarding the anonymity of bloggers; pseudo-rant accumulates the largest back blog ev-ah. all this comes in response to sunday's post article about the negative repercussions of blogging and the wish of one scott lapatine to remain anonymous. well, technically, he's not anonymous because we know his name and the post's description ain't too veiled. damn, scott--disassociating yourself from your own blog can be scandalous! we'll keep your secret. and as for the boo-hoo on my drinking problem: i don't really drink all that much--pills, however, are a big issue for me. my oxycontin habit makes rush limbaugh look like a kitten.

posted by jessica at 05:08 AM | Comments (19)

February 02, 2004

random notes

bonnie fuller is a tool. not only is the editrix a booger-eating bad mother, the post reports, but she also doesn't remove the tags from her clothes! quelle horror! in her defense, leaving the tags on everything is totally cool with the inner-city kids. and we know how urban culture is a springboard for mainstream hotness, and we know bonnie loves anything with the potential for hotness. so don't dismiss her just yet, gang.

speaking of hotness, coachella is just getting more and more fabtastic. the flaming lips have been added to the bill, and weezer and the streets are rumored to join the lineup! finally, mikey skinner and i can meet and fall in love, as we've been destined to do for all these years.

stupid ryan adams cancelled his stupid spring tour and now i have two stupid tickets and no word on getting a stupid refund. okay, yes, he could potentially lose wrist function and that, of course, would be terrible. but gawd, why does he have to be such a tool?!

ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod. barry manilow is having chest pains! his publicist claims that the "singer" is suffering from stress. i can imagine that the end of a craptastic career is quite traumatic.

gawky, bird-like love abounds: keira knightly and adrien brody just might be in a completely-emaciated relationship.

this is kind of fun, in the name of self-promotion.

posted by jessica at 10:18 AM | Comments (3)

note to superbowl entertainment committee members: you're fired.

ah, the superbowl. never been much of a fan myself, but when i'm invited to a corporate party being hosted somewhere decent, where i'll be offered ridiculous amounts of free food and drink, i'll go. as such, i watched the bowl of super like everyone else. and wow, what can i say? while most people were confused and wildly unentertained by the superbowl preshow, some sensitive souls recognized that sunday was the one year anniversary of the columbia shuttle disaster, thus rendering aerosmith's performance, complete with a space-launch video and costuming that resembled some sort of nasa jumpsuit, remarkably ill-timed and inappropriate. the halftime extravaganza, which lived up to its reputation for being utterly retarded, was clearly held together by one thematic element: Hits From At Least Three Years Ago. how else could you explain puff daddy, gliding on a moving walkway (he's too cool to walk, people! too cool!), reliving the glory days of mo' money mo' problems? or the boob-exposing janet jackson reminding us one more time, perhaps for old times' sake, that we are indeed part of a rhythm nation? we know your name is kid rock, we've been hearing it for at least two years now.

posted by jessica at 05:00 AM | Comments (3)