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October 30, 2007

Happiness, realized

The Bacon Show: One bacon recipe per day. [via]

posted by jessica at 02:41 PM | Comments (0)

Exhale.

Now that the Series is over and life can slowly return to normalcy, I s'pose I should link to this baseball widow item, though I wrote it last week. I don't think it's as funny (too soon!) as my iPhone widow nonsense from this summer, but that might be because this whole Sox thing hasn't exactly lent itself to hilarity. Or I could just be tired and bitchy. That's probably it, actually.

And that, friends, concludes the last baseball-oriented post I'll write for a long time. Sweet, sweet relief.

posted by jessica at 01:12 PM | Comments (0)

October 29, 2007

RapeFace would hurt you, but you'd like it.

The gentleman pictured above is Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon, who's known not only for regularly pitching in the mid-90s and treating audiences to the post-game Riverdance, but also for his RapeFace. If you watched just one of his innings over the past few weeks, you know what I'm talking about. It's the disturbingly intense face he makes on the mound, the scary-hot look in his eyes that tells you he will stop at nothing to get what he wants, especially if it's in your pants. Just by looking at RapeFace, you're asking for it. And you're totally OK with that.

posted by jessica at 04:32 PM | Comments (0)

October 24, 2007

CBS gives Vulture some 'Kid Nation' love

OK, so maybe CBS didn't exactly name-check NYM's excellent Vulture blog, where the above declarative (and totally sincere) statement first appeared, but they most certainly quoted 'em in their new commercial for Kid Nation. Whatever--we'll take what we can get! Anything for the mothership!

(I would be remiss not to mention that the quote originally ran in an item by Vulture freelancer extraordinaire/exotic panhandler Lindsay Robertson, who would like nothing more than to see Taylor drink bleach.)

posted by jessica at 05:22 PM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2007

My very first tramp stamp

The tattoo, temporary; the mental damage, permanent.

posted by jessica at 03:55 PM | Comments (0)

October 18, 2007

Modern lexicon

Thought of a new word yesterday:

vaclench 'və·klênch
-verb
1. The act of clenching one's pubococcygeus muscle (also known as the PC muscle) upon seeing/hearing/imagining anything particularly upsetting and/or graphic in relation to the ladyflower.
Ex: "When she told me her pap-gone-wrong involved serious scraping, I vaclenched in horror."

-adj
1. The cringe-like emotion one feels when vaclenching.
Ex: "I heard the lost-tampon story and got a little vaclench."

posted by jessica at 03:09 PM | Comments (0)

October 17, 2007

Those 'The New Rich' articles are quite useful.

Last night, I killed a roach the size of my big toe with a copy of the latest NYT mag.

Also: Who did that roach think he was, meandering around my living room after the lights had been on for a good 45 minutes? Seems a little ballsy, even by East Village standards.

posted by jessica at 10:03 AM | Comments (0)